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  • Writer's pictureJaclyn Hall

REBT & CBT Couples Counseling: Understanding Relational Betrayal

At Keys to Counseling in Tampa, FL, I specialize in a specific type of therapy called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Established by Dr. Albert Ellis in 1955, REBT is an active, directive, solution-focused, and goal-oriented approach to counseling and it is recognized as the pioneering form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). 

When we think about couples and commitment, we often hold the belief that betrayal is solely defined as infidelity. While faithfulness is a paramount component within committed relationships, it is also imperative to understand that infidelity is not the only act of betrayal that exists. In addition to fidelity, successful romantic partnerships are built and sustained by multiple commitments, such as valuing your partner and their perspective, caring about that which is important to them, standing beside them throughout the darkest of times, respecting them as a fellow human being, giving them the benefit of the doubt in moments of frustration, striving towards learning and communicating in one another’s love language, validating each other’s emotions (even when you do not entirely understand your partner’s feelings), assisting and supporting them daily in both the mundane and unpredictable tasks of life, and providing emotional security to illustrate that disagreements are not synonymous with the end of your relationship.  In spite of the adversities that couples face, including various forms of betrayal, each partner is responsible for their own emotional and behavioral reactions within the relationship. As a couples counselor, I aim to provide support and guidance for my clients, but it is up to every couple to establish their own boundaries for their partnership, with the understanding that each partner has the freedom to choose whether or not to move forward within the relationship. 

As fallible human begins, we are prone to making mistakes within our relationships; therefore, it is important not to allow your or your partner’s faulty behavior to result in globally rating either one of you as entirely good or bad. In other words, while you may feel disappointed in your spouse’s behavior, as well as your own behavior, you can strive to unconditionally accept yourself, and your partner as imperfect individuals with the capacity to act in both positive and negative ways. It is equally essential that you do not become complacent in your romantic relationship, as all of the commitments that you make to your partner are vital in sustaining a long-term, passionate, and loving bond.

Using REBT (rational emotive behavior therapy), I facilitate couples with transforming their stubborn demands and unrealistic expectations about their relationship, as well as their partner, into healthy preferences and helpful desires. By assisting couples in changing the way that they think about partnership and commitment, they are able to develop more adaptive and constructive feelings regarding their relationship (and their partner), and these healthier emotions generally result in more functional behaviors, such as less arguing, displaying more patience in moments of disagreement, and partaking in much more self-reflection and introspection when addressing their partner.

When struggling within a romantic relationship or marriage, seeking support and guidance from an empathetic and resourceful couples counselor can breathe new life into the partnership, provide hope in the face of betrayal, and ultimately help both partners to view their relationship from a healthier, more rational, and mindful perspective! There is always hope for couples who are willing to dedicate the time and effort to improve their relational and communicative skillset, and ultimately redefine and renew their commitments to one another. Through REBT couples and marriage counseling, you will learn to better understand the many layers and types of relational betrayal that exist, and with this knowledge you can work towards acquiring a fresh start within your relationship!

At Keys to Counseling in Tampa, Florida, my mission is to promote healthy living through rational thinking! I provide both individual and couples counseling, and I would be honored to cognitively, emotively, and behaviorally accompany you on your journey to living, loving, being, and staying better! 


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